Do you know about money?
So, you like the money and the woman with bery long leg? You want to make better priends and pamily? Now you ask me "what is the secret one about happiness?". You must listen about me because I will only say one time...
The wise Korea man say "a man have money, he is better than everybody. Please do not crucify me.". The Korea wise man say us the answer to life is 'money'. Even the western wise man hear about this from Korea wise man.
So, now we tell you about money you start think "how can I get many money so I can make many happy?".
Answer...
The answer is "you must open freak show". Now we tell you about this one.
What is freak?
A freak is from far away country, outside Korea, outside Dokdo, outside Jeju-do, outside everything. The freak have white color skin (like ghost) and big eyes like cartoon.
What will the freak do?
The freak will stand in room with many Korea child. The Korea child will pay to talk and stare at freak because Korea mother have no money for baby sitter.
The child think the freak is monster so the child cry and talk with priend and then the freak get anger so he will be like monster. The child is very funny about this and they laugh to freak.
Is the freak dangerous?
The freak think it is Harvard professor, so it is happy. But sometime the freak get sad, it think "where is my pamily, my priend, my money, my respect, my happy time" and so on. So, we give freak soju and do not talk to freak. Then, the freak will be powerless and we win.
How can I make cheat on the freak?
If you like cheat, lie, scam and so on, you must say 'this is Korea culture. You do not understand about it'. This make confuse for the freak because the freak is weak and have kind feeling like the woman.
For example, if you want the freak to work on saturday and the freak think 'this business must give me the money' then you say 'this is Korea culture' and the freak get confuse.
If the freak ask you anything you do not like, pretend you do not speak englishee or say magic words 'this is Korea culture'.
Use the magic words 'Korea culture' if you want:
- Make freak work for no pay on saturday.
- Do not talk about thing which is important for freak.
- Have prostute, cheat on wife then say freak is dirty man.
- Do not talk about the equal way for woman, the stressed child, sex worker, depressed teenager, suicide president, the animal suffering, for example.
How do I feed the freak?
The freak do feed about itself. You must show the McDonalds.
Where do the freak live?
The freak will live in special box. We call this 'office tell'.
How do I get the freak?
You must make advertisement about Asia. The freak like the dirty Asia country so you must make confuse the freak so he think he is go to the dirty Asia country. Please use these photo to confuse freak:
- Smiling Buddha monk.
- Sunset, beach and palm tree.
- Smiling children (you must give ramyeon to child or no smile).
- Eiffel Tower.
- Elephants.
Please see photographs in top of http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea for good idea about it.
Can I make stupid lie for the freak?
Yes, you must do.
So, you tell the freak the flight to Korea is free. But, the freak must work for a year for flight. So, it is the same as money for job but the freak think 'it is free' so the freak will come to you on plane that freak pay for.
Then, the freak come and think "now I am trapped because I must pay for my escape flight". But the freak cannot go because the freak can not speak with anybody. The freak will make stupid with soju and boring.
Do I pay the freak?
This is sad, but you must do. You can pay little money and if you like you can make freak very sad so freak will leave country and you will not pay.
Also, you can make 'mistake' like 'I forget about money' or 'I am late for pay'. If the freak get anger then say "I do not speak Englishee" but if you like the freak work very hard you must change and speak perfect Englishee.
Will the police man have angry with me?
No, because you say the freak is Englishee teacher. The freak does no speak korea language so the freak cannot say why he is angry. He will go to police man and get angry and the police man think the freak is son of bitch because he don't have understand about the freak.
Do the freak make angry sometime?
You must get young freak because old freak will make angry and say "I want to be treated with professional dignity and respect" (these words the freak use but nobody understand ;)
Do not keep freak more than the two year because then the freak will have energy because culture shock will be pinished.
These are the words the freak actually use from mouth:
"I feel like I'm capable of teaching more effectively - if there were resources appropriate to the context of Korean society. I find it damning of Korea's educational system that it deems it appropriate to pump billions into importing foreigners to 'teach English' yet there is little from Korea in the way of a practical learning path for improving our teaching abilities. Being able to contribute in a meaningful way to Korean society would be mutually beneficial; Koreans would get a better yield on their investment in education and I could improve my feeling of self worth - the alternative is to become apathetic and alienated."
The freak say these words but the director just laugh in head and say 'I no speak Englishee'. It is funny! But sometimes it is serious because the freak will be happy about it when they come here first to Korea and say "hello. I am fine thank you." but then the freak will change after a few months and say about him being a teacher! (this is funny but we must not laugh at the freaks face. If you like laugh then we must go to hagwon association and we can laugh about the freak there).
You must say 'this is Korea culture. You do not understand about it'. Because nobody think about Korea culture. It is special mystery, like rain (where the water in sky come from? This is Rainism, special Korea mystery). We must do it because Korea is best.
Now I am angry about it but do not cry about me or I will:
- Pull a pig apart
- Drop my pants in anger.
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